Nine Things Never to Say to Your Boss

By Megan Malugani, Monster Contributing Writer, and Charles Purdy, Monster Senior Editor

“Think before you speak” is always a good policy -- and at work it's even more important. Saying the wrong thing to your boss can do serious damage to your career -- and some of the things bosses don't like to hear may surprise you. We checked in with some managers and came up with this list of nine phrases they strongly dislike -- and we'll tell you what you should say instead:


1. "I need a raise."

Never enter salary negotiations talking about what you need -- because of rising costs or a new expense, for instance. Your employer doesn't care about your financial problems. However, management probably does want to reward success and keep high-performing employees satisfied. A raise request should always be supported by evidence of what you've achieved for the company -- along with information about what people with your responsibilities typically earn.

2. “That just isn’t possible.”

Always speak to your boss in terms of what can be done. For instance, rather than saying “We can’t get this done by Friday,” say “We could definitely get this done by Monday, or if we brought in some freelance help, we could meet the Friday deadline.” When you talk to your boss, think in terms of solving problems for her, not in terms of putting problems on her plate.

3. “I can’t stand working with ____.”

Complaining about a coworker's personality usually reflects more poorly on you than on the coworker. Don’t make these kinds of conflicts your boss’s problem. Of course, management is interested in problems that jeopardize the company's ability to function. If you have to speak to HR about a problem such as a colleague's threatening, illegal or unethical behavior, keep your tone professional and the focus on work -- not personal issues.

4. “I partied too hard last night -- I'm so hung over!”

Buck up and get through the day with some ibuprofen, extra undereye concealer and coffee. But don’t share the sordid details of your night on the town with your boss. Even if you have a friendly relationship, he’s just as likely to react with (unspoken) disdain as sympathy. Maintaining a solid veneer of professionalism will pay off when it's time to discuss promotions.

5. “But I emailed you about that last week.”

Alerting your boss to a problem via email doesn't absolve you of all responsibility for it. Bosses hate the "out of my outbox, out of my mind" attitude. Keep tabs on all critical issues you know about -- and keep checking in until you hear a firm "You don't need to worry about that anymore."

6. “It’s not my fault.”

Are you a whiny 8-year-old or a take-charge professional? Assume responsibility and take steps to fix a problem that you did, in fact, create. And if you are being wrongly blamed for a problem, saying “Let’s get to the bottom of this” or “What can we do to make it right?” is much more effective than saying “It’s not my fault.”

7. "I don't know.”

If your boss asks you a question you can’t answer, the correct response is not "I don't know." It's "I'll find out right away."

8. “But we've always done it this way."

You may find yourself with a new boss who wants to try new things -- and the best way to present yourself as a workplace relic is to meet change with a "we do it this way because this is the way we do it" attitude. When a brainstorming session takes place, be part of it and stay open to new ideas. If you have concerns about a new idea's feasibility, say "I think for this to work, we will have to…" Don't kill new ideas with negativity.

9. “Let me set you up with...”

Avoid the urge to play matchmaker for your single boss. The potential risk far outweighs any potential benefit. In modern workplaces, hierarchical structures are often less rigid, and bosses will often end up in semisocial situations with their direct reports. Smart workers will draw the line at "oversharing" -- definitely something to keep in mind if you're connecting to your company's managers on social networks like Facebook.

Fat cat makes for fine art
Artist Svetlana Petrova doesn't have to pay models to pose for her, instead she uses her ginger tabby Zarathustra. She recreates some of the world's finest paintings by Botticelli, Dali, or Monet, featuring her fine feline as willing subject. It has to be seen to be believed!

http://news.yahoo.com/photos/fat-cat-makes-for-fine-art-slideshow/cat-art-photo-1332380408.html

 

Leonardo's masterpiece, the Mona Lisa, with Svetlana Petrova's cat safely snuggled within her clutches. (Courtesy of BEImages/Rex USA)

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"Vodkin Spring" painted by Russian artist Kuzma Petrov in 1935.
Fat cat Zarathustra is digitally added into the painting:"Vodkin Spring" painted by Russian artist Kuzma Petrov in 1935. (Courtesy of BEImages/Rex USA)

 

Salvador DalÌ's 'Dream Caused by the Flight of a Bee.'

Fat cat Zarathustra is digitally added into the painting: "Dream Caused by the Flight of a Bee" by Salvador Dalí. (Courtesy of BEImages/Rex USA).

 

Diego Velázquez's 'Venus At Her Mirror.'
Fat cat Zarathustra photoshopped into the painting: "Venus at her Mirror' by Diego Velázquez. (Courtesy of BEImages/Rex USA).

'Pallas and the Centaur' by the Italian Renaissance painter Sandro Botticelli, circa 1482.

Fat cat Zarathustra photoshopped into the painting: "Pallas and the Centaur" by Sandro Botticelli. (Courtesy of BEImages/Rex USA).

 

The famous 'Venus and an Organist and cupid' by painter Titian.
Fat cat Zarathustra is digitally added into the painting: "Venus and an Organist and cupid" by Tiziano. (Courtesy of BEImages/Rex USA)

 

Fat cat Zarathustra is digitally added into the painting: "The Three Graces" By Peter Paul Rubens. (Courtesy of BEImages/Rex USA).

Fat cat Zarathustra is digitally added into the painting: "La Grande Odalisque" by Dominique Ingres. (Courtesy of BEImages/Rex USA).

 
Fat cat Zarathustra is digitally added into the painting: "Spring" by Sandro Botticelli. (Courtesy of BEImages/Rex USA).
 

Artist Svetlana Petrova with her pet cat Zarathustra. (Courtesy of BEImages/Rex USA).

You’ll get stuck on this incredible tape art
By Yahoo! Games | Unplugged – 13 hours ago

 

What can you do with a roll of packing tape? If you're us, you can recklessly waste it by overtaping the heck out of Zappos return boxes in an obsessive-compulsive meltdown, that's what.

If you're renowned street artist Mark Jenkins, however, you can do things like this:

Image courtesy of Mark Jekins

Image courtesy of Mark Jenkins

Image courtesy of Mark Jenkins

Jenkins creates the memorable installations, well, because he can. And because they're super cool.

"Once I have the finished sculpture, I'll put it out on the street or in nature or somewhere where it interacts with the environment," he says in an awesome making-of video (below). "Really it's the idea of turning the street into a stage , so this urban theater has a life of its own."

Jenkins will take a break from making amazing tape art to judge yours in the Scotch off the Roll Tape Sculpting contest, which wraps up on March 24th.

Homes with extreme color schemes
By Sarah Firshein, Curbed
March 12, 2012
http://realestate.yahoo.com/promo/homes-with-extreme-color-schemes.html


Unless you're House Beautiful and know how to properly administer hues such as pink and green, the liberal use of color can be a tricky affair. Pale pink sounds lovely until it becomes a sad, slumped loveshack; purple sounds regal until it becomes a Technicolor mess; and red sounds sexy until it becomes a Valentine's Day disaster.

Here are five homes that are nearly unrivaled in their enthusiasm for color both inside and out. Of course, enthusiasm doesn't always yield tasteful results.

Duck, N.C.
Listing: $1.95 million

This Duck, N.C. home looks like eye candy.
Photo: Curbed

Six hours due East in the state's Outer Banks vacation region, this 4,100-square-foot seven-bedroom looks like something out of a Dr. Suess book.


Naples, Fla.
Listing: $6.449 million

This Naples, Fla. home kitchen is spicier than many dishes.
Photo: Curbed

This Easter egg-colored wonderland in South Florida is a downright mansion: the four-bedroom, four-bathroom house totals 6,400 square feet.



Boone, N.C.
Listing: $1.2 million

This Boone, N.C. home would brighten up any kind of weather.
Photo: Curbed

This gingerbread-esque three-bedroom sits in the aptly named North Carolina neighborhood of Heavenly Mountain.



Ledyard, N.Y.
Listing: $1.1 million

The Ledyard, NY dining room is kind of a fun puzzle.
Photo: Curbed

This temple to insanity belongs to the founders of the MacKenzie-Childs pottery empire—represented ad infinitum in the listing photos, of course—and hit the market in July.


Sarasota, Fla.
Listing: $14.5 million

The colors of this Sarasota, Fla. home do justice to the sunset.
Photo: Curbed

Completed in 2000 by architect Guy Peterson, this 7,700-square-foot modern comes with a pool large enough to accommodate a game of waterpolo, a water slide, and a volleyball court.

9 Bad Habits that Are Good for You
By Woman's Day | Healthy Living – Wed, Mar 7, 2012 6:17 PM ESTBy Jessica Girdwain
http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/9-bad-habits-good-231700683.html

Look at the Bright Side

When it comes to your health, some missteps are OK to make from time to time. In fact, many of these so-called mistakes, such as downing coffee and forgetting to take your vitamins, can actually help you improve your health, feel better faster and boost your mood. Learn the nine "bad" habits you should keep and how to make them work for you.

You drink a huge cup of coffee in the morning... and pour yourself a refill (or two)

WHY IT'S NOT SO BAD

A couple of cups of joe may perk you up in more ways than you think. Coffee gets a bad rap because of the caffeine, but it may actually help regulate your mood. A recent study published inArchives of Internal Medicine showed that women who drank two to three cups of coffee daily had a 15% lower risk of depression. Photo by iStock

"Caffeine helps activate the brain chemicals involved in mood, like dopamine and serotonin," says study author Alberto Ascherio, MD, a professor of epidemiology and nutrition at Harvard School of Public Health. Coffee is also a rich source of antioxidants and other healthy compounds that may help protect against cancer, according to new research. One caveat: If you don't drink coffee, don't start (caffeine is a stimulant and can cause jitters or an upset stomach in some people). But if you're a java lover, consider this permission to pour yourself an extra cup.
Learn 7 surprising things about your morning cup of joe. 

You allow the Debbie Downer in you to sneak out

WHY IT'S NOT SO BAD

Think you should force yourself to stay positive (no matter what) when difficult things happen? Think again: Research shows that the key to long-term happiness may actually be dropping the "Everything's fine!" act. A new study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that newlyweds who remained positive in the face of negative but controllable circumstances (problems at work, financial issues) experienced more symptoms of depression four years later than people who looked at situations in a less positive (and more accurate) light. Photo by iStock

"Being realistic drives people to take steps to improve their lives, which helps ease stress and sadness," says study author Erin O'Mara, PhD, an assistant professor at the University of Dayton in Ohio. Also, forcing yourself to stay positive often means you may be suppressing worries or other emotions, which can be unhealthy. Changing your outlook can be as simple as saying to yourself, "We're in debt. What's the first thing we can do to start digging out?" instead of denying the situation.
Discover 9 ways to think more positively.

You forget to take your vitamins

WHY IT'S NOT SO BAD

Although vitamins can fill in the gaps to make sure you get all the nutrients your body needs (a perfect diet all the time is next to impossible!), there's a downside to always popping a vitamin. It may make you reach for the bag of potato chips instead of an apple-and skip your workout to boot, reveals a new study published inPsychological Science. Photo by iStock

Researchers found that taking a multivitamin every day may make you feel like you have the leeway to blow off other healthy habits-like grabbing dinner at the drive-thru rather than eating right or channel surfing instead of taking a walk, notes Benjamin Caballero, MD, PhD, a professor of pediatrics, nutrition and international health at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore.

In general, your body best absorbs nutrients in their natural form, so rather than relying on vitamins, focus on eating a healthy diet packed with whole foods. If you do take vitamins, remind yourself that they don't replace a healthy diet and exercise or provide a buffer against unhealthy habits.
Find out which 5 nutrients you need the most-and how to get them.

You get angry-and show it!

WHY IT'S NOT SO BAD

"Anger is actually a good emotion that's often misunderstood or irrationally used," says Mary Lamia, PhD, a clinical psychologist in Kentfield, CA. "It motivates you to take action and remedy situations that are wrong." The key is figuring out how to appropriately channel your anger rather than lash out. Dr. Lamia lays out the three easy steps: Photo by Thinkstock

1) Figure out exactly what triggered your anger. Was it the rude comment your coworker made during lunch?
2) Consider any other emotions that may be behind your anger. Do you feel embarrassed about the snide remark she made in front of other people? Are you really unhappy with your job but afraid of change, so you don't look elsewhere?
3) Plan a course of action to fix the situation. Have a conversation with your coworker to find out why she made that comment. Check job boards and see what other opportunities are out there.

A good rule: Always "sleep on it" or take some time before reacting. The physiological effects of a triggered emotion affect how you think, says Dr. Lamia. Giving yourself a few hours can help you clearly think through what's going on and the best action to take.
Boost your mood with these easy tips.

You drink beer

WHY IT'S NOT SO BAD

Red wine gets all the attention when it comes to heart-health benefits, but a brew can be good for you, too. "Beer is rich in disease-fighting antioxidants," says Cassie Dimmick, MS, a registered dietitian in Springfield, MO. It also provides a dose of energy-revving iron (dark beers are a richer source than light lagers, says research) as well as dietary silicon, a mineral that helps promote bone formation, which may improve bone density and help protect against osteoporosis. In fact, research shows that some pale ales contain just as much or more silicon than oat bran, which is one of the best food sources of this mineral. Photo by iStock

Beer contains 120 to 150 calories per 12-oz serving, which can add up fast. So if you do drink beer, make sure you stick to one per day (or less) to get the healthy benefits without the added calories and pounds.
Get tasty ideas for cooking with beer.

You get stressed about the little stuff

WHY IT'S NOT SO BAD

Chronic stress is linked to conditions like heart disease, but short-term stress actually has a positive side, pushing you to get things done-and succeed at them. "Stress triggers the hormone cortisol, which helps energize us, revving up our systems to handle the day," says Judith Orloff, MD, author of Emotional Freedom. "It also motivates us to do better on the things we care about and problem-solve."Photo by iStock

So know that the brief stressed-out rush you get before a presentation at work will help you perform better, and when the car breaks down, a little stress will help you fix the situation quickly. Balance is key, though, so it's important to recharge your batteries every day so those once-in-awhile stressed moments don't turn into a constant thing, says Dr. Orloff. Her suggestions: Spend five minutes every day doing an activity or hobby you love, or if you prefer peace and quiet, sit in a dark room and breathe deeply.

You skip your workout two days in a row

WHY IT'S NOT SO BAD

You don't have to exercise hard every day to be healthy (and taking a break is actually better). "Three to four days a week is enough to keep you in shape," says Mike Boyle, owner of Mike Boyle Strength & Conditioning gym in Boston. Here's why: Days off give muscles time to repair and strengthen, something that happens only with rest, he says. You may also get tired of-or start to dread-a strict routine.

It's a good idea to be active every day (whether that's walking with your friends at lunch or taking your dog out for a stroll around the block when you get home in the evening), but schedule tougher workouts for just a few days a week. At least two of those should be strength workouts with weights, which will deliver the biggest toning and fat-burning benefits, says Boyle.

You procrastinate by reading those forwarded jokes in your inbox

WHY IT'S NOT SO BAD

It may seem like a waste of time, but taking a break to do something that makes you laugh is worth it. A small study of 30 people from the University of Maryland School of Medicine in Baltimore found that when people watched a funny movie (There's Something About Mary), the lining of their blood vessels expanded up to 50% more than when they watched a stressful movie (Saving Private Ryan). Here's why a hearty chuckle is so good for you: "Laughter activates blood vessels to release the chemical nitric oxide, which causes them to enlarge and can help reduce blood pressure," says coauthor Michael Miller, MD. Photo by iStock

The harder you laugh, the bigger the benefits-deep belly laughs, not light chuckles, are more likely to trigger the healthy chemicals. And be sure to share that laugh with friends. Social laughter boosts levels of pain-relieving, feel-good endorphins, according to research from the University of Oxford. So watch a funny YouTube clip with your kids or call a friend and watch while on the phone together.

You take an over-the-counter sleep aid occasionally

WHY IT'S NOT SO BAD

Taking these pills to induce sleep every once in a while is OK. They can be especially useful if you have trouble sleeping due to nasal allergies or congestion, says Ronald Popper, MD, medical director of the Southern California Pulmonary and Sleep Disorders Medical Center. Why? Many OTC options (like Unisom SleepTabs) work because of a side effect of an antihistamine, a common active ingredient that also helps relieve allergies. But most sleep specialists don't recommend that you use them daily. All you're doing is taking advantage of the side effect (sleepiness) of antihistamines, which are intended for another use (reducing allergy symptoms). By contrast, a prescription sleep aid acts on the "sleep center" of your brain to induce sleep, says Dr. Popper. Photo by iStock

If stuffed-up nasal passages are what's keeping you up at night, OTC sleep aids may be a good solution. Talk to your doctor or a sleep expert before you start taking anything-antihistamines can cause other side effects because they affect the whole body and the longer you take them, the less likely they are to make you sleepy because your body builds up tolerance to their effect fast.